Words To Live By

A Fool In NH Column Heading

This time of year is always exciting for people like me.

No, it’s not just 6’2″ bald men approaching sixty (thought some of them might be excited) who love this time of year, but others as well.

You see, in this world which seems to get a little crazier and dangerous by the day, there is still one constant that folks like me can be sure will never change and will be there year after year as a sense of comfort.

It is when new words and phrases are added to the dictionary and to our language.I love words. Some people like to take pieces of wood and other things and put them together to create things. People like me like to take different words and put them together to create things as well. I often put words together to explain why it is so hard for me to put other things together.

So, it is always an anxious time when new words and phrases are introduced that are now considered official to our language.

This year some of the additions are: Rando ( A suspicious person that one does not know), Mkay (A non-standard way of saying “Okay), Hangry (Being bad tempered or angry as a result of hunger and Melty (melting or partially melted).

The list goes on and on.

Okay, right about now I’m sure many of you are looking at some of these words and thinking they are ridiculous, especially 6’2’ bald men approaching sixty. Still, like it or not, these words and others are now part of our language and culture.

There are also a lot of words out there that didn’t make the cut; words that might need a few more years until they see their way into being considered acceptable.

For instance.

When you are standing in a long line at the supermarket on a busy Saturday and the shopper in front of you, after watching carefully as the cashier scans each and every one of their dozens of items and then hears the cashier exclaim; “That will be ninety dollars and eight cents” decides, at that moment, to reach for her pocketbook (or his pocketbook, just so I don’t get hate mail), carefully open it up and then pilfer around inside it for a minute or two until she/he finds her/his wallet while the growing line behind her/him lets out a unified groan. This person is known in some circles as a “Procashtinator.”

An offshoot of “Procashtanator” is the “Proscratchanator”, a person who spends countless minutes at the convenience store check-out, line growing behind, as they have each and every one of their scratch tickets checked to see if they are winners (odds are high they aren’t).

The chances are growing each year for both of these words to be official parts of our language as it is almost certain that those responsible for choosing which words make the cut will experience these things themselves.

When you are driving down the road and suddenly a lit cigarette butt thrown out the window by the driver in the car in front of you goes whizzing by your window, almost making its way into your vehicle. This person is often referred to by a few as an “Ashhole.”

It didn’t get quite enough votes this year, but many feel that it is only a matter of time until one or two more of the judges experience the event and will gladly cast their vote to add it to our language.

Have you ever gone into a room to get something and then forget what it is you went in there for? This is becoming increasingly known as “Brain Flakes” and may soon be part of our everyday language as well.

In these times of having to remember countless pin numbers to access accounts, most of us have found ourselves at a cash machine or checkout, having swiped our cards and then froze as we cannot bring to mind what our pin numer is. This is called by some being “Numbernumb” and is growing in popularity and will soon make the list.

There is not enough space in this column for me to include all of the words that didn’t make the cut but should but I will be including many at my website www.BrendanTSmith.com. I invite you to email me with your suggestions and if I like them I’ll add them as well (Hey, it’s my website, I can do what I want).

You can also follow Brendan’s blog at www.foolinnh.com.