2016 Predictions

A Fool In NH Column Heading

As we get ready to start a new year, I would like to offer some predictions for what will happen in 2016.
I made a lot of predictions for 2015 which came true, but I didn’t write them down so I can only ask you to take my word for it. I won’t make the same mistake for next year.
So, here goes.
Apple will expand their market to the food industry where they will create the Apple “Apple”. The first few attempts will bruise and spoil easily but, by 2017, they will have perfected it and it will be delicious.
The New Hampshire legislature will pass a law making it illegal for drivers to turn their heads to look at other passengers in the car at a red light unless it is an emergency.
The New Hampshire Department of Travel and Tourism will begin a new campaign to find a “thing” that best describes New Hampshire. After a year or two and tens of thousands of dollars they will once again reach the conclusion that they can’t agree on a “thing” and will just choose something else.
In a surprise but clever move, one of the nominees for President will choose a Kardashian as his/her running mate finally getting the majority of the country to pay attention to how crazy politics is becoming. Unfortunately, they will win.
A new term “Climate Confusion” will enter our lexicon to describe the fact that somewhere in the world it is hotter than it has ever been before while somewhere else it is a little colder than it has ever been and somewhere else things have not changed at all. It will eventually be blamed on people’s obsession with adding cheese to most everything they eat. The production of cheese will be highly regulated. In June a Worldwide “Cheese Summit” will be held in Switzerland.
The next Star Wars movie will start production. It will be called “Star Wars – You Will Pay To Watch This Movie No Matter What We Film.”
A New Self Help Book called “How To Think The Thoughts That Will Change Your Life” will sell millions of copies. The success of that book will lead to the 2017 sequel “How To Really Think The Thoughts That Will Change Your Life” and 2018’s “Here Are Some Ideas For Thoughts You Can Really Think That Will Change Your Life If You Bought The First Two Books And Aren’t Having Any Luck Changing Your Life Thinking Those Thoughts.”
A subtle yet eye-catching design of a field of Lupines over a green background will be voted by the New Hampshire legislature as our state’s official wallpaper pattern.
Some New Hampshire towns will consider allowing those who can’t make it to the Town Meeting to join in by Skype. Purists will argue loudly against it claiming that it wouldn’t be what the towns’ Founding Fathers had envisioned so many years ago when they first established the town meeting.
New Hampshire’s next governor will be taller than either of the last two. (By the way, I’m six-foot-two.)
The newest New Hampshire scratch ticket will offer prizes as high as five million dollars and will cost a thousand dollars to play and can be purchased with a loan from the state using your home as collateral. All of the necessary paperwork will soon be available at your local convenience store where all employees will now be required, by law, to be licensed notaries.
A new drug called “Wuneldoya” will be able to cure all of the side effects of all other drugs. Some side effects of “Wuneldoya” include any of the side effects of any other drug.
Somewhere in the country a group will try to right an injustice by holding a protest somewhere so as to affect the livelihood of those who had nothing to do with the injustice they are protesting against.
A professional athlete in some sport will break a long-standing record in that sport. This may happen more than once.
Facebook will introduce a new feature called “Me” where you can comment on your own posts as fictional people when none of your real friends seem to care about a particularly mundane thing you posted.
Someone under the age of fifteen will discover information on the Internet about something called a “book” and will hurry to be the first one among their friends to have one.
Well, that’s about all I could come up with since my brain is getting tired. I hope these predictions have helped you in planning your upcoming year.
Happy New Year!!

For more info on Brendan’s books and speaking engagements visit www.BrendanTSmith.com


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