Some Things

A Fool In NH Column Heading

 

A couple of weeks back I confessed that I didn’t have many ideas to write about. This week it’s a different story. It seems that being outside in the fresh air, cleaning up after yet another snow storm, can really clear out the mind and the sinuses.
Here are a few ideas and random thoughts I had that I would like to share with you.

The National Weather Service gives names to every tropical depression and hurricane. The Weather Channel even gives names to winter storms. I suggest we give numbers to bad weather systems and people’s names to nice weather systems. I think that forcing some folks to always being reminded of having the same name as devastating storm (I’m talking about all you Sandys out there) is a psychological burden. Instead we should be lifting people up by having their names related to something nice. ( “Pleasant system Brendan will be over our area for the next several days making for great weather. We are keeping an eye on system number 5647 which could being heavy rains and winds next weekend.”)

Speaking of weather, I think it would be a good idea that the weather folks should stop predicting snow in estimated inches like “six to ten inches” leaving us to wait and see where in this range it will fall. Instead they should predict it in levels of aggravation. For instance, 1-3 inches would be “no aggravation,” 4-6 inches would be “bit of a pain”, 6-10 inches would be “okay, that’s enough” and 10 plus inches would be “A giant pain in the butt.” So, weather forecasts could go something like: “Laconia will have no aggravation from this storm while it will be a bit of a pain for the seacoast and a giant pain in the butt for the White Mountains.” I think this would help us all mentally prepare a little better and not be so focused on the specifics of inches.

I am very disappointed that the Right To Work Bill was defeated by our legislators in Concord. Getting to work will now be a bigger problem for me since I will have to take all left hand turns. Of course, this will benefit some, but for me and others like me it will only make our commute that much more difficult.

We should consider having a national day of silence…as far as politics go. All political protests, television news, newspapers, radio talk shows, etc.., that mention politics should be banned for twenty-four hours one day a year. If you are in a public place and you begin a diatribe on a political issue, you will be asked to leave. If you post something political on social media that day, your account will be deleted. Of course, this all goes against the First Amendment and would never be allowed, but I wouldn’t really complain, would you? I think we all need a break once in a while.

I also think it would be a good idea to have one day a year dedicated to educating people on the difference between, to , too and two as well as its and it’s and your and you’re when writing. Maybe I’m the only one that this bothers, but it is my column and I get to make these suggestions.

I think this is a great idea. Scanners at the 14 items or less checkout at the supermarket should be programmed to set off a siren and strobe light when the 15th item is scanned bringing attention to the guilty party by everyone in the store. After about fifteen seconds of this embarrassment, they would be allowed to continue so as not to disrupt those behind them who are following the rules, but their picture will be taken and posted on the “14 items or less Outlaws” poster over at the produce section for one month.

NOT A RANDOM THOUGHT BUT FLAGRANT AND SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION-Next Thursday, March 2nd, I will be the featured storyteller at the Corner House Inn in Sandwich, NH. 21.95 gets you a nice dinner, dessert, a glass of wine and a some Flatlander tales by yours truly.. Call them at 603-284-6219 to make a reservation.

Well, that’s about it. Time to get out the roof rake and continue with the cleanup.

Visit Brendan’s website at www.BrendanTSmith.com