Getting Used To It

A Fool In NH Column Heading

Some things just take getting used to.
Have you gotten one of those new debit or credit cards with a chip in it?
Supposedly, these are designed to help keep us safer from those evil doers who want to steal our information and go on spending sprees using our cards.
It seems that this country has been behind the times with these things and we are finally catching up.
Just in time for the evil doers to have finally figured out how to overcome this nuisance to their livelihood.
Still, when I first got my new chip card I was pretty excited. After all this was New Hampshire in the middle of the winter and something like this got my blood boiling a bit. I hadn’t been this excited since I purchased my new ergonomically designed snow shovel a few winters ago.
Of course, like most new things we crave as humans to make us happy, the novelty soon wore off by the second snowstorm. The next winter it was time for a snowblower. Next year, who knows; maybe a new house in Florida.
I had heard about these chip cards and I was excited to see how they would work.
My first stop was a local department store to purchase some cat food.

This in itself was a winter diversion I had planned for a while, so I figured I would kill two birds with one stone, a feat I could never accomplish in reality seeing I never had a good pitching arm. (Even if I did, I could never do it.) But, I digress.
Our cat, Dagny, needed to add a little wet food to her diet so I needed to find which type she would prefer. It would be a process of elimination by purchasing many different types and bringing them home and then, one by one, letting her taste each flavor until she found one to her liking, if at all.
Unfortunately, we did not have a dog to make quick work of whichever food was not lucky enough to be chosen, so there would be a good deal of waste involved if Dagny couldn’t decided on her preferred flavor right off the bat.
I must admit I was surprised to see the selection of cat food available. A few dozen flavors. I might have to make several trips until the magic recipe was discovered.
There was tuna, tuna grilled, tuna grilled with gravy, tuna grilled flaked, tuna chunky and even classic tuna, to name a few of the tuna varieties. There was also beef, chicken, turkey and more with all of these options as well.
There was a wide variety of price ranges depending on how discriminating you think your cat’s tastes might be. I grabbed several types, but I refused to even consider the “Fancy Feast White Meat Chicken Florentine With Garden Greens In A Delicate Sauce” (I’m not kidding). A man just had to draw the line somewhere and I certainly didn’t want Dagny to develop an even bigger aloof attitude than the standard cat one.
With my mind buzzing from this unexpected journey into the world of cat food, a world I never knew of but was now a permanent part of my life, I arrived at the cashier and placed my armful of cans on the conveyor belt and watched as each one was scanned and placed in a bag.
“That will be fourteen seventy-six,” announced the less than enthusiastic cashier.
I was shaken from my stupor, reached into my pocket for my wallet, took out my new debit card and with my thoughts far away from why I was here in the first place, I swiped my card.
“You have to insert chip cards,” I was told as though I had left my zipper down.
I felt foolish, My reason for leaving the house in the first place had eluded me at the most inopportune of times.
I smiled sheepishly and inserted the card. I waited for what seemed like the intermission at the Super Bowl without the entertainment.
Had I done this correctly? The cashier seemed unconcerned as she studied her fingernails.
Then an annoying “BLAT BLAT BLAT!!” emanated from the machine. Eyes turned towards me.
“You have to take your card out now,” I was scolded yet again.
I took out my card, was handed my bag and receipt and I hurried from the store, my first foray with my chip card a total failure.
Now it was back home to find out if I had chosen wisely or would I face the same failure with the cat foods I had chosen?
Dagny seemed to like the tuna with gravy, but who knows how she’ll feel about it tomorrow?

Follow Brendan at his website