How Tweet It Is

by Brendan Smith
Weirs Times Editor

I’ve had a Twitter account for a few years now, but I don’t use it much.
Twitter is part of Social Media, that oddly named phenomena where people talk to each other without actually “talking” to them. We email, text and tweet things on different Social Media sites that can be read by one or even thousands, without ever leaving the bathroom. Nothing very “social” about it at all.
With Twitter, you tweet. These were names made up by the creator of this site who was very excited when he woke up one morning and realized he had the power to make perfectly sane and responsible adults use the word “tweet” on a daily basis. (I believe he got the idea one night after drinking heavily with the guys who created Google and Yahoo.)
There are millions of people all over the world on Twitter, tweeting millions of supposedly clever things, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Proving that the world, for the most part, is full of Tweet.
On Twitter, people get to use up to 280 characters to express their feelings about something. Originally Twitter was created so that people could only use 140 characters in a tweet. The idea was to keep tweets short and simple. Today you can use more characters in a tweet because, it was soon realized that people have a lot more tweet in them than previously thought.
A lot of people tweet about things that they are angry about, politics especially. People get into a lot of arguments about things with each other on Twitter. It’s a place where you can yell and scream and say nasty things to each other that you would never say to them in public.
Of course, it is embarrassing when you actually do run into the people you were arguing with on Twitter. If you happen to see them walking towards you on the street it is best to take out your phone and look at Twitter so you won’t have to look them in the eye.
On Twitter, it’s okay to follow someone all day long. In fact, its encouraged and usually by the person you are following.
I felt a little overwhelmed when I first signed on to Twitter and then began advertising at the end of my columns for people to follow me. First off, just asking someone to follow you is weird. When I was a kid my parents told me to run away from people who were following me, but now I am trying to learn to embrace it as acceptable.
Some people have thousands of followers. Some people, like me, have about eighty…including family and friends. So, in essence, I am in the lower echelon of the Twitter world and should know when to keep my mouth shut.
For instance, not long ago, I tweeted something sarcastic (who me?) in response to a tweet by the chairman of one of New Hampshire’s political parties (I can only tell you the party starts with a D so as to keep that person anonymous).
The chairman quickly responded by letting me know that he had thousands of followers and I only had eighty so, according to the Twitter world, he was more important on Twitter than me since less people were reading my tweets.
I’m guessing that’s the social media equivalent to wriggling one’s fingers while inserted in ears, sticking out tongue and saying “Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah.” (Which, by the way is actually in a party chairperson’s job description.)
I was cautious when I first went on Twitter. You have to be careful. A lot of people have gotten in trouble using it.
People have a tendency to tweet stupid and hurtful things and find themselves in hot water.
I don’t want that to ever happen to me. I consider myself decent and honorable and I’d be horrified if every slanderous, cruel and hurtful remark I ever made about anyone ever went public.
Those are things best said in private after making sure no one has a hidden camera or microphone.
When I first got on Twitter and I asked people to follow, I thought they’d now be expecting something clever, not just once a week…but every day….and not even just once a day but several times.
It became unnerving.
I did tweet a few pithy (whatever that means) sayings but, after a few days, I felt like my tweets were forced and not as clever as my followers might expect.
I was beginning to feel like a complete Tweeting failure.
I don’t tweet that much anymore and so I don’t have many followers and may never be as important in the Twitter world as that party chairman, but I’m okay with that.
I do send out the occasional tweet just to keep my Twitter muscles in shape.
So, if you want, you can follow me on Twitter at @weirsbrendan.
If you follow me anywhere else, I’m calling the police.

An audio version of this and other columns can be heard at BrendanTSmith,com. Brendan is the author of “The Flatlander Chronicles” and “Best Of A F.O.O.L. In New Hampshire” His latest book “I Only Did It For The Socks & Other Tales Of Aging” will be published in early 2020.