Serious Business

by Brendan Smith
Weirs Times Editor

I wasn’t planning on writing another column this week about running for governor. I’d imagine you’re getting tired of them and would like a change of pace.
I get it. If I were in your shoes, I’d be getting tired of it to. But I’m sitting here at my keyboard at a loss for anything else to write about, so neither of us really has any other choice.
Still, I thought I might dispense with trying to be humorous and take a more serious stance on the whole process. Believe me, I’m not doing it just for you, I have something to gain here as well.
I have decided that it would be a good idea to try and find out how our system of government works here in New Hampshire since I have never really understood it. It would be a definite plus for me to know how to conduct myself and work with our four hundred state representatives and twenty-four senators (see, you learned something already) when it came down to getting things done.
I know some folks have been dubious of my real intentions in running for the big chair. I did once claim years ago that I would only like to win because the governor makes over a hundred thousand dollars a year and I could use that to pay off some debt. Even if I did a lousy job, it would take a lot to fire me and I would be guaranteed at least two years pay. After that, I could still make a nice living as a consultant (whatever that is) or something else where I wouldn’t actually have to do any work but ride on the coattails of my time as governor.
But I have matured since that statement and have changed considerably. I no longer have the desire to do the consulting part, just the two years at a hundred grand plus should be fine.
I’m not getting any younger.
Since there’s nothing much going on there right now, I know I can’t just drive down to Concord to see democracy in action. (This is actually a blessing in disguise, Have you ever tried to find a parking space in Concord when the legislatures in session? Fuhgedaboutit!)
So, I did the next best thing. I watched some older legislative sessions on my computer from home. Feet up with a cold beverage, I was already feeling a lot like a governor.
It’s easy to do. Just log onto www.gencourt.state.nh.gov (If elected, I’ll get rid of some of those dots, very confusing and time consuming to type in.)
Once you figure out where the videos are, you are on your way to learning how the system really works. How did that ridiculous bill become law? It isn’t quite “Schoolhouse Rock” but some of the characters can be just as entertaining.
First off, I have to give credit to our state representatives. As glorious as it might seem to the average citizen, sitting for hours listening to speaker after speaker and then voting the way you had planned to all along anyway on issues like new taxes and what the state amino acid should be while collecting a hefty paycheck of two hundred dollars a year, isn’t all peaches and cream (or whatever the official state fruit and dairy product are these days).
Not everyone gets up to talk about a bill, but a lot do. Some make their statements quick and to the point while others bloviate for what seems an eternity. (Maybe as governor I could hire a house band, like those Hollywood award shows have, to interrupt speakers with loud music after a certain period of time or after the same point has been made three times, which seems to happen a lot.)
Once you make it through the speakers, there is a vote. You might think that this is the end (Thank goodness!) but if you are a savvy representative and you know the Parliamentary rules (which is like Calculus except with words) and the vote did not go your way, you can raise your hand and call out some rule and try to have the vote taken at a later date so everyone can listen to the same speakers again.
I must admit, it was about this time that I became confused and decided to check my Facebook page to see who didn’t like something I posted.
I figured as governor I didn’t really need to know all of this. I would be spending most of my time being chauffeured around getting my picture taken giving people awards and declaring this or that a special day for people I liked who voted for me.
When I finally get back to the office, I could see what bills were there for me to sign or veto and then take my paycheck and go and have a nice dinner somewhere.
I hope you learned something today.
You’re welcome.