Serious Thoughts

by Brendan Smith
Weirs Times Editor

This stretch of cold weather and snow has given me plenty of time to think about things.
Earlier today, I had been pacing up and down in my living room trying to count off the seconds and minutes until spring finally gets here.
“Twenty-two days, six hours, eight minutes and fifty-two seconds; nine days, six hours, eight minutes and fifty-one seconds; nine days, three hours and fifty seconds….”
Strange?
No.
It’s been going on in living rooms all over New England since about mid-February, but most people won’t admit it; afraid to have others think that you may have gone off the deep end.
Don’t worry. I am here to tell you, you are definitely not alone and there is nothing to be concerned about. If you learn how to use this time wisely you can do some deep thinking.
I was deeply involved in one of these nightly countdowns when my mind suddenly wandered to an interesting thought.
How come no one cares about the wind chill factor in the summer.
I’ve never heard the weatherman say “It will be eighty degrees today but with the wind it will feel like seventy-two.”
“Twenty-two days, five hours, fifty-eight minutes and twenty-one seconds; Nine days, five hours, fifty-eight minutes and twenty seconds….”
Another thought.
Would I be able to use a 3-D copier to make another 3-D copier? If so, we would really only need to build one 3-D copier.
“Twenty-two days, five hours, fifty-four minutes and eight seconds; Nine days, five hours, fifty-four minutes and seven seconds…..”
There are as may words as you can make out of Mississippi then you might think.
My mind drifted back to my immediate concern.
“Nine days, five hours, thirty-three minutes and eleven seconds; Nine days, five hours, thirty-three minutes and ten seconds…..”
Another thought.
If you think about it long enough the answer to “How much wood can a woodchuck chuck” is really very simple.
“Twenty-two days, five hours, twenty-two minutes and twelve seconds; Nine days, five hours, twenty-two minutes and eleven seconds …..”
Soon another thought entered my head.
I noticed it was almost six o’clock and it was still light outside. Then I remembered that soon we will put our clocks up an hour and it would stay lighter longer.
I wondered which came first, putting clocks back or putting them ahead? If we never did it, what time would it really be and would it still be light right now at six o’clock?
I’d have to look it up later.
“Twenty-two days, five hours, eighteen minutes and twenty-one seconds; Nine days, five hours, eighteen minutes and twenty seconds….”
My mind drifted again.
There are 31,536,000 seconds in a year and 31,622,400 seconds in a leap year. I’d need to write this down to have something interesting to talk about if I ever have to go to a Business After Hours event anytime soon.
“Twenty-two days, four hours, fifty-four minutes and eight seconds; Nine days, four hours, fifty-four minutes and seven seconds…..”
Another thought.
A great name for a new social media site could be called “Getouttamyfacebook”. I’d imagine it would be very popular in Brooklyn.
“Twenty-two days, four hours, forty-eight minutes and three seconds; Nine days, four hours, forty-eight minutes and two seconds…..”
Another thought.
I noticed the indoor/outdoor thermometer in the dining room.
Maybe I could invent an outdoor/indoor thermometer so I could know what the temperature is inside when I’m outside.
I’d have to look into that later.
“Twenty-two days, four hours, ten minutes and eleven seconds; Nine days, four hours, ten minutes and nine seconds …..”
I started to think that it seemed like I had plenty of time to come up with an idea for a column this week.
What could I write about?
I was thinking I had used up just about every tired old long winter idea I could think of.
No one wanted another same old F.A.T.S.O. column.
But what else was there?
I guess this is it.
“Nine days, two hours, fifty-one minutes and eighteen seconds; Nine days, two hours, fifty-one minutes and seventeen seconds….”
So, as you can see, using your time wisely while fighting Cabin Fever can sometimes be very productive.

Brendan is the author of “The Flatlander Chronicles” and “Best Of A F.O.O.L. In New Hampshire” available on his website BrendanTSmith.com