Taking The Pledge?

by Brendan Smith
Weirs Times Editor

I must admit that this running for governor thing is getting a bit tiring.
I have been doing it, unsuccessfully I might add, for a couple of decades now.
Since it’s the only office I have ever run for, a lot of people tell me now that I might have had more luck if I had started smaller and worked my way up.
You know, something first, like school board and then work my way up to selectman then maybe state rep and then state senator before trying for the big chair.
Maybe they are right, but it’s too late for all of that now. I’m on the bad end of my sixties and there’s no time for all of that now. It’s governor now or never, I certainly don’t have the energy to go through all the preliminary steps at this point.
Still, I have been getting pretty good at it and I am finding it a bit easier to run each time. I am learning the game and can pretty much go through the motions.
But this year, just when I am getting in my groove (do people still say that?) one of my inexperienced opponents goes ahead and does something dumb that just wastes more of my valuable time.
But it is not unexpected. I have come to realize that most folks who are running for higher offices like U.S. congress and senate as well as governor, really don’t have much to do all day except, well, run for office, so they have to find new annoying ways to keep their names in the spotlight as well as trying to take down their opponents.
I, on the other hand, have certain responsibilities that need to be tended to: Bills to pay, lawns to mow and television shows to watch. (I just bought a new TV after all and I need to give it the attention it deserves.)
So, it was with a great deal of annoyance that I awoke the other day and found out that I had to play an old, useless, political game. It seems that some candidate I won’t give free publicity to, is insisting that every other candidate signs some sort of silly pledge about something or another.
Taxes, campaign spending, term limits, etc., are all things we are now supposed to sign our name to to prove we are on board with them.
Some candidates will refuse to sign the pledge, which is what their opponent wants so they can send someone after them to bug them all day about it with questions like: “Will you sign the pledge” and “Why won’t you sign the pledge?” A lot of candidates will avoid the question and there will soon be a video on social media about them avoiding it with narration like: “What is he trying to hide?”
I’m not a big believer in signing pledges. I’ve signed too many things in my life that did me no good. Extended warranties for example. (And I wish they’d stop calling me about it.)
When I am out campaigning at something like a bean hole bean dinner (only because I must) and some flunky from another campaign confronts me just as I am about to take in a large spoonful of bean hole beans and yells: “WHY WON’T YOU SIGN THE PLEDGE?”
I simply turn, look them in the eye and say “Pledge Schmedge” and go back to the beans (which I really don’t care for, by the way).
This usually draws a gasp from some in the crowd who care as well as a look of confusion from the flunkie who doesn’t have anything to say since this response wasn’t in his playbook.
I don’t put much faith in pledge signing because it really means nothing at all, it is not a binding contract. You can sign pledges in front of the media from now until Election Day and it won’t be worth the paper it’s written on.
As you may know, a politician has the right, as guaranteed in the Constitution (little known fact, I think, though I may be wrong) to promise as much stuff to people as they can during a campaign, yet they are not required to do any of it if elected.
Pledges are the same thing. They are promises that never have to be kept. The real mistake in having someone sign a pledge is not having them sign a follow up pledge, preferably with a notary present, that reads: “I Pledge Never To Break The Other Pledge I just Signed No Matter What The Situation.”
It’s easy to sign a pledge and break it later simply by saying: “But I had no idea THAT would happen.”
So, just for fun, I have a few pledges I would like my opponents to sign.
“If elected I pledge to actually talk to my constituents in non-election years.”
“I pledge not to use the celebration of someone else’s accomplishments as a photo opportunity for myself.”
“I pledge I will stop asking my opponents in upcoming elections to sign stupid pledges.”
They can sign if they want, it doesn’t make any difference to me.
I’m just hoping that I can keep them busy for awhile so they won’t bother me so I can try to enjoy my bean hole beans.