Tired Just Thinking About It
by Brendan Smith
Weirs Times Editor
It is getting down to crunch time for me.
I have to decide within the next few weeks whether or not I will run once again for governor of New Hampshire on the Flatlander Party ticket.
There is so much to consider as I ponder this decision.
Am I totally committed to bringing all of my energy into doing what is best for the people of New Hampshire?
Can I just walk away from the hundreds of dollars in inventory I have left over from bumper stickers I never used during my 2018 campaign?
Of course, the biggest factor in my decision to run will be my age.
When I first ran for governor in 2000, I was a young and vibrant guy of just about forty-five.
Going from event to event, day after day for months on end was easy. Shaking hands, pretending to be listening to what potential voters were saying to me and spewing out a plethora of promises I know I could never keep, all without losing that smile on my face was simpler back then.
I’ll admit that nowadays, heading towards the midway point of my sixties, I’m not as energetic and a bit more cynical.
I’d probably only be good for about two or three events a day, as long as the first one is by 9am. Also each one has to have some kind of food offering or I’m out. At my age my blood sugar can get a little low and I don’t want to embarrass myself like I did one day last campaign season.
I was at a local diner, bothering folks as they were trying to eat. I hadn’t eaten myself for a good hour and a half and was feeling a bit light-headed and getting cranky.
I tried to nonchalantly grab a couple of french fries off a customer’s plate as I pretended to listen to his concerns. I would have gotten away with it too, but some smart-ass kid caught it all on his phone and posted it to You Tube where it went viral.
It took a lot of spin to fix that one and I’m determined to make sure that doesn’t happen this campaign season if I decide to run.
I did test the waters last weekend by heading incognito to the Laconia Pumpkin Festival. I wanted to see if I had the stamina to last more than a half hour in a crowd like that without feeling the need to go home and take a nap.
I did make it for twenty minutes, so I’m thinking, with a little work, I can get to that half hour mark by early next year.
The pumpkin festival reminded me of the various county fairs and summer shindigs I would have to attend if a candidate next summer. Just the site of vendors with spicy sausages, cotton candy and other foods that I would have to taste and pretend to enjoy kicked in my acid reflux just thinking about it.
And what if I hit the campaign trail one day and forgot to bring my fiber supplements? These are the things I never had to worry about as a younger candidate.
Of course, being an older candidate running for office, there would need to be more bathroom breaks and that can cut into my schedule.
There are also a lot of boring events and dinners put on by certain groups you have to pander to that you should do your best as a candidate to try and attend. Some of them can, unfortunately, run past nine o’clock at night. As a younger candidate this was never a problem. Today this will be more challenging. A simple yawn at an inappropriate time can derail an entire campaign. (Especially if that smart-ass kid is nearby.)
There are some benefits to campaigning at an older age, but not many.
For example. It would be easier to pretend to be listening, as my hearing isn’t as good as it used to be. I can look right at people and not have to actually shut out the noise of their complaining about this and that and how something or other needs to change and blah, blah, blah.
People sure do a lot of whining to me when I’m running for office. I guess they must think that I’m going to be able to change things or something.
Lots of voters really don’t care about age, especially young, idealistic ones who are still many years away from experiencing their first sore back just getting out of bed. You can fool them easily enough if you can promise them some sort of unobtainable utopia.
It’s the older folks, the ones with more life experiences, the ones who have the aches and pains and the prescriptions who need more convincing you are up for the job.
And I have to convince myself as well. After all, there I am one morning looking up how much I’d earn if I starting collecting Social Security now and then, the next morning, thinking about campaigning to be in charge of an entire state, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week for at least two years.
I am not sure why the decision would be this hard.
I guess it’s just all them damn bumper stickers I have left.
Brendan is the author of “The Flatlander Chronicles” and “Best Of A F.O.O.L. In New Hampshire” available at BrendanTSmith.com. His latest book “I Only Did It For The Socks and Other Tales of Aging” will be published in early 2020.
