Unbelievable

by Brendan Smith
Weirs Times Editor

It’s Unbelievable.
I mean, I wasn’t even here, I had taken a week off and in order to fulfill my requirements for a weekly column, I reached into my bin and dusted off an old one.
I didn’t think much about it at the time. When I first published it there was hardly a peep from anyone. Just another eight hundred words that drew no response.
But this time around it was a completely different story.
In case you missed it – and shame on you if you did – the column discussed the difference between “Visiting Flatlanders” and “Native Flatlanders”. Of course, I tried to poke some fun, but ultimately it was about us all getting together.
When this column was first written back in 2015, New Hampshire was certainly a different place. Locals and long-time Flatlander residents could easily poke some fun at our visitors and not worry too much about any consequences.
This was before the infamous “All Flatanders Are Important” movement was started in 2018 by Joey, a visiting Flatlander from Massachusetts, who got fed up one summer when he got into an argument with a Native Flatlander at a local restaurant over a table with a lake view.
Joey felt that the management had, unfairly in his opinion, given the table to the Native Flatlander for no other reason than he was who he was.
Joey’s movement gained a lot of steam over the past couple of years, and it wasn’t long until Visiting Flatlanders were yelling “foul” over every situation that they felt should have gone their way, no matter what the facts showed. (It has also made it hard for local restaurants to fill the host position as they are too fearful of being called biased in every seating situation which can affect not only them, but their family and friends as well as future generations.)
It has become especially hostile this year with the Native Flatlanders complaining about too many Visiting Flatlanders coming to New Hampshire and possibly bringing Covid 19 with them.
It is all mostly driven by fear created by the news and social media, but once people latch onto a belief, it is almost impossible to change their minds, no matter what the actual story is.
It was within this hostile environment that I dropped in my once harmless column about the two groups.
I was not expecting any reaction since I had received none the first time it ran. I didn’t think much about it at the time except that it was nice to take a week off.
Boy, was I surprised.
It seems that the column might have actually been read by a few folks, but the word went out, on both the sides of the Native Flatlanders and the Visiting Flatlanders that I was against them.
A majority of the supposedly offended folks never even read the column, they just piggybacked their already set in stone viewpoints onto whatever side of the argument they agreed with.
The first hint that something was wrong was when, during my time off, I was leisurely perusing my Twitter account to amuse myself with the latest vitriol, when I noticed that Joey had posted on his “All Flatlanders Are Important” account “#CancelFOOLInNH”.
I was quite taken aback. Was this me or was there another FOOL out there?
Reading the comments under his post, I soon realized I was under attack.
“I’m with #CancelFOOLinNH…his bias has no place in our society.”
“#CancelFOOLinNH is a threat to all Visiting Flatlanders. Do away with his column.”
These were just two of the plethora of comments, many not fit for publication.
Needless to say, time off was no longer relaxing.
My email box was soon filled with hate filled messages, not just from Visiting Flatlander, but Native Flatlanders as well. It seems I had offended both sides. (Last I heard the Native Flatlanders were discussing a catchy name to give their newly formed group.)
Now this paper is under pressure to remove my columns and provide and apology for all the Flatlander columns I have written over the last twenty-five years (as well as delete all my work from their website). So, far they have stuck by me, but who knows how long even they will be able to hold off until the pressure becomes too much.
I personally live in fear that my life may be in danger, but I refuse to apologize. There was never any harm meant in the column even though many who never even read it will accept nothing less.
Some of you may think this very column is made up. That none of this really happened. That I’m only poking a little fun at the craziness that is enveloping our country at the moment.
Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. But it doesn’t really matter.
It’s been said, so now it exists.
You can believe whatever you want.

Brendan is the author of “The Flatlander Chronicles” and “Best Of A F.O.O.L. In New Hampshire” available at BrendanTSmith.com. His latest book “I Only Did It For The Socks – Stories and Thoughts On Aging” will be published later this year.