A Few Things

by Brendan Smith
Weirs Times Editor

It’s not always easy to come up with ideas for this column every week.
Some weeks the ideas will flow and I can’t wait to get to my laptop to write them down. Other weeks I have nothing; the well is dry, and I need to pump the handle hard to get anything out.
This week is an in-between week – I have some ideas but not really any that might pan out to be a whole column. Just random thoughts for the most part.
So, now that my deadline is here, I have no choice but to share those random thoughts with you.

Hurricane Ian was certainly one for the ages. It not only caused a tremendous amount of destruction and heartache, but also brought great joy to climate change enthusiasts who need these sort of natural tragedies to fulfill their doomsday agenda of the world coming to an end.
The National Weather Service gives names to tropical depressions which can sometimes turn into hurricanes. The Weather Channel even gives names to winter storms. So I would venture to guess that anyone named Ian might feel bad about having a storm like this attached to their name.
I suggest we give numbers to bad weather systems and people’s names to pleasant weather systems. I think that forcing some folks to always be reminded of having the same name as a devastating storm could be a psychological burden. Instead, we should be lifting folks up by having their names related to something pleasant. Wouldn’t it be nice to hear something like this on the weather? (“Tropical Depression 2367 might turn into a hurricane along the southeast this week. Otherwise, Pleasant System Brendan will linger over our area for the next few days making for great weather.”)
I know that would cheer me up.

Speaking of weather, now that winter is right around the corner again, I think it would be a great idea that the weather folks stop predicting snow amounts in estimated amounts like “six to ten inches” since they don’t have a clue themselves leaving us to wait to find out exactly what the amount will be. Instead they should predict it in levels of aggravation. For instance, a 1-3 inch prediction would be a “No aggravation” storm, 4-6 inches a “Bit Of A Pain” snowfall, 6-10 might be called an “Okay That’s Enough” storm and over 10 inches would be precipitation that will be “A Giant Pain In The Butt.” So, weather forecasts might go something like “Laconia will have no aggravation from this storm while it will be a bit of a pain for the seacoast and a giant pain in the butt it for the Mount Washington Valley. I feel this would help us better prepare mentally for what is coming. (Of course, they could just use the metric system and then no one will have any idea how much they are might be getting.)

We should consider a National Day Of Silence…as far as politics go. Yes, there is still a few weeks of noise and madness until November 8th, but maybe soon after it is all over, anything to do with politics should be banned for twenty-four hours. All television news, newspapers, radio talk shows, social media posts, etc., that mention anything political should be silenced for one day. Even if you are in a public place and you start off on a political diatribe (whatever that is) about the election or something else political, you will be asked to leave and, if not, arrested. Sure, this goes against the First Amendment and would never be allowed. But, be honest, would you complain? I think we all would appreciate the break. Who knows, it might be such a big hit we would increase it to forty-eight hours after the 2024 election.

This might just be me, but I think it would be a great idea to dedicate at least one day a year to educating people on the difference between to, too and two as well as its and it’s and your and you’re. Maybe I’m the only one this bothers, but it is my column and I get to make the suggestions.

I think this is a great Idea, maybe my best one. Scanners at the fourteen items or fewer checkouts at the supermarket should be programmed to set off a siren and strobe lights when the fifteenth item is scanned bringing attention to the guilty party and alerting everyone in the store. Of course, after about twenty seconds of this embarrassment, the siren and lights would shut off and the guilty party would be allowed to continue so as not to make those behind them with fourteen or fewer not have to wait. (It will be fun though to see who leaves the line to go to another one). One last touch would be to have the culprits picture taken and posted on the ”14 Items Or Fewer Scofflaws” poster in the produce section.

Well, that’s about it. Hope to do better next week.